untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

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I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????

cuphaz:

when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji)

professional-professional sent:

Would you like it in the vag or ass when I rape you?

a-man-n-progress:

rennskye:

misandry-mermaid:

At least now that I disabled Anonymous asks, your own face is attached to your pitiful hatemail.

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And if you recognize this ugly mug, shoot me a name!

Thanks.

ETA: He’s been tracked down.

HIS NAME IS BRANDON BAYARD AND HE LIVES IN SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN.

Reblog the shit out of this so it shows up on every background search done by every guy trying to hire him ever.

REBLOGGING THIS ALWAYS, FUCK THIS PIECE OF SHIT

avatardedpotterhead:

bootyguarcl:

lavalamp-of-epicness:

I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.

He brought it to school today and I’m just-

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how

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is all of that

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frickin sugar?

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wtf i think your dad just defied the law of physics and pastries

Is ur dad cake boss

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